


she lit a fire

by thistidalwave



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thistidalwave/pseuds/thistidalwave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim angsts about failing the Kobayashi Maru. Bones makes it better with kisses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	she lit a fire

Jim doesn’t sleep well, tossing and turning and going over the Kobayashi Maru in her head, occasionally slipping into a restless sleep only to jerk awake not too much later. It’s still dark outside when she gives up and gets out of bed, doing her best to be quiet and avoid waking up Bones as she changes into her running clothes. She laces up her sneakers tight, wiggles her toes, and does a few preliminary stretches. This next bit is going to be the most difficult.

She tiptoes over to the door and tries to open it slowly, but of course, as ever, it squeaks loudly. Jim huffs in annoyance. They really need to get someone to fix that.

Jim turns around and goes over to Bones’ bed, sitting down on the edge of it and bouncing for good measure. Bones has her head under her pillow, which means she definitely woke up when the door squeaked. “Wakey-wakey!” she sing-songs. Then, in a normal voice, “Get up and come for a run with me, please? I know you’re awake, you never sleep through the door squeaking.”

“I sleep through the door squeaking all the time,” Bones says. Her voice is muffled by the bed, but Jim understands her clearly.

“What was that? You’re getting up? Awesome.” Jim grabs Bones’ pillow before Bones can react and throws it across the room. “I’ll make you some coffee.” 

Bones groans, but she does get up and start shuffling around blearily. Jim appreciates her infinitely. 

Thirty minutes later, Jim is running flat out, lungs burning and throat sticking together. She can feel her ponytail brushing past the back of her neck rhythmically and her feet smack the ground in time with her measured breaths. Everything around is still and peaceful with the early morning, so that Jim can conceivably pretend there’s nothing in the world except her and Bones and the ground beneath their feet.

_No big deal,_ she thinks. _Just a stupid, rigged test._

She runs faster. Her entire body protests along with the soft groan she can hear Bones give behind her, but Jim can ignore that easily. 

She slows down to a jog and eventually stops after another ten minutes, turning to watch Bones run the last few yards to catch up. Bones has got her murderous face on, and Jim braces herself. 

“Drink,” Bones commands, tossing a water bottle at Jim. Jim catches it and obeys. Bones can be scary when she wants to be. Jim thinks it’s a doctor thing. 

Bones is breathing heavily, her hair sticking out every which way and threatening to ignore the headband she’d shoved it back with. She flops down on the grass and pats the ground next to her. “You gonna tell me what the hell is wrong with you? And don’t say nothing, ‘cause the academy ain’t on fire, so there’s gotta be some other reason to run like that.”

Jim sits down and busies herself stretching out her legs so that she doesn’t have to look Bones in the eye. 

“Is this about that stupid test?” Bones asks after a moment. 

“It’s not stupid,” Jim says, lying down and staring up at the sky. It’s pale gray, waiting for the sun to make its way over the horizon and turn it blue. They’re at the far edge of campus, away from the buildings, and there’s no sign of any people.

“Don’t be an idiot, Jim. It’s really fucking stupid.”

“It’s not,” Jim says. “I can’t fail. People talk.”

Bones narrows her eyes. “Fuck people,” she says. “What do people say?” 

Jim feels sick thinking about it. She closes her eyes. “That I’m not… qualified for command.” _That I’m not good enough_ , she doesn’t say. “I heard a guy say that he knew there was no way the ‘so-called great Jim Kirk’ could pass the test.”

“First of all, that guy’s full of shit. Nothing about you being great is so-called.” Bones reaches for Jim’s hand, and Jim lets her take it and squeeze comfortingly. “Second of all, nobody passes the Kobayashi Maru. Not even you and your greatness.”

Intellectually, Jim knows this is true. You’re not supposed to pass the Kobayashi Maru. That’s not the point or what-the-fuck-ever. But something about the early morning and Bones’ hand in hers makes her admit, “I thought I was going to be different.” 

She can hear Bones take a sharp breath in, and she squeezes her eyes shut tighter, willing herself not to cry. That would be stupid and pointless, like tears always are. 

“Oh, Jim,” Bones says, but there’s no pity or exasperation in her voice like Jim was expecting. It sounds more like an incredulous prayer. “Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim.”

Jim opens her eyes. Bones is looking down at her, and Jim can’t tell what the expression on her face means. Jim sits up so that they’re on the same level. “What?” 

Bones kisses her. Jim is startled, so it’s a bit weird for a moment, but then her brain catches up and she kisses back. Bones kisses softly, carefully, and Jim feels like a blooming flower, petals thrown out of their comfortable huddle. 

“Bones, what—” Jim starts when they break apart, but Bones hushes her. Their faces are barely an inch apart.

“You’re so stupid,” Bones says softly, and Jim nods, because she is. “Stupid and reckless and inconceivable.”

“Bones.” The word chokes in Jim’s throat. Her vision is misting up, and she blinks continually, like that will make it go away. 

“Beautiful,” Bones says, brushing her thumb along Jim’s cheekbone. 

Jim closes her eyes and tips her face the short distance to press her lips against Bones’. She feels aware of every inch of her body: the give of her skin where Bones’ fingers cradle her neck, the grass brushing against her bare legs, the rush of blood to her head when Bones gently bites Jim’s lip. Their hands are still interlocked, and Jim thinks she would drift right up into the stars without Bones grounding her. 

“What if they’re right?” she whispers, her ever present deepest fear. “What if I can’t do it?”

Bones kisses the corner of her mouth. “Don’t make me smack you,” she murmurs. “Of course you can do it.”

Jim kisses her for real again, deep and searching, and Bones’ words sink into her veins like a truth she’s always known and just lost sight of. 

It’s a long moment before they break apart again, cheeks flushed red and smiling helplessly. “Be on my crew?” Jim asks.

“What, did someone give you a starship and forget to tell me?” 

Jim laughs and shoves at Bones’ shoulder only to immediately close the distance between them again. “No, be on my crew for the Kobayashi Maru. I’m going to retake it.” She doesn’t know when she decided this, but it feels right.

Bones looks at her, searching and fond and exasperated. “You know I’ll be on whatever crew you want me on, but it’s not going to make a difference.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself,” Jim scolds. She does know it won’t make a difference for the stupid, rigged test, but it’s not about the test. It’s about the feeling Bones gives her, like if only Bones is beside her, she really can do it. Jim puts her forehead on Bones’ shoulder and drags her in for a hug. Bones sighs with annoyance, but she holds on just as tight.


End file.
